The Banquet That Wasnt Quite

In conjunction with Singapore's NationaL Day ceLebration, there was a dinner heLd in the camp Last evening. Invited guests are mostLy infLuenciaL peopLe from town and around, which incLude the mayor, poLice, hospitaL head nurse, contractors, Laundry man and even beauty parLour staff! The whoLe event was a tribute to the Taiwanese LocaLs for their ongoing support for our presence as and when we need. This is wat the Chinese caLL "关系".

However, preparations have aLready taken pLace through the past few days. Setting up the whoLe dining haLL to be Like one banquet took time and effort, as we are obviousLy not trained in that fieLd. It ain easy for fifty men to be the event organiser, the entertainer, the chef, the waiter, the management and everything that is required of an event Like that, but we did.

There were rehearsaLs for the performers, the waiters and everyone invoLved and things Looked pretty good for the actuaL day. StiLL, somehow, some of us knew that there wouLd be a screw up somewhere, and we were spot on ....

From the moment we presented our first dish, aLmost nothing has gone to pLan. Instead, everyone was heLping everyone and not to their designated tabLes, but it was great fun and good teamwork. So much so, the cockup of the first dish presentation was forgotten and we received positive comments from aLL the peopLe that mattered. WeLL, datz just the way things work everywhere. You juz need to pLease the most important peopLe, everything wiLL turn out fine no matter wat.

This evening brought my memories back to some time ago when I worked in banquets. I couLd vagueLy remember some unforgettabLe moments .. maybe I wiLL just jot down some of the common things you see and rare ones that you dun :

1. Cutting of fish. This dish come as the 2nd or 3rd if I can remember. It can be fried in sweet and sour sauce, or steamed in Light soya sauce. Itz easier to cut the steamed fish because you just need to sLide the knife across the two fLanks of the body and therez absoLute zero sweat in removing the bone. However, some waiters tend to cut the beautifuL whoLe fish into sort of a mince to the disgust of the guests. Fried fish requires a LittLe more care, using the same method to cut the steamed one, but I have heard of a fish head fLying off the tabLe onto a guest!

2. CLearing bowLs. BowLs are usuaLLy used for shark's fin soup, fried rice, and ee-noodLes. Waiters often sweat hard having to hoLd the serving pLatter on one hand and stretching out to grab the used bowLs. Sometimes, some may Lose grip of the bowL they are grabbing, and it ends on either the Lap of guest, or if Lucky, right into the handbag of some Lady who pLaced it at the gap between two chairs. Sometimes, some may stretch too far for the one bowL, those on the pLatter toppLe onto the shouLder of the guest. If itz juz fried rice, the guest shouLd heave a sigh of reLief. However, most of the time, itz shark's fin soup that Lands on them.

3. Serving drinks. Drinks are served throughout the whoLe banquet. So, spiLLing a gLass over a guest is part and parceL of most banquet dinners. From my observation and personaL experience, spiLLing comes from factors such as, poor hand baLancing of serving pLatter, and physicaL and mentaL pressure from carrying many gLasses at one time Like a circus act, with guests Looking with amazement. I wiLL never forget this one incident where a man from the very front asked for 4 beers. Stress factors incLude the man being in the front and many peopLe are watching, and aLso the 4 beers. So,this waiter got 4 mugs from the bartender, headed towards the man, took 1 mug and Leaned over pLacing it on his right side, and then, the remaining 3 came pouring over his suit. The man stood up aLmost immediateLy whiLe the manager hurried over to cLear the embarassment.

Okie that was a personaL experience.

I wish I couLd teLL u more, but tiL next time then ..